Now we will continue to talk about the youth power secret but we will stress in this book on the sense of touch.
Actually, the riskiness of not controlling the sense of touch is underestimated and this is a big problem, As this sense is from the main reasons for falling, as it was mentioned by one of the fathers.
Also, we will stress on three principles which will help to win the spiritual war, they are the principles of the Christian life, they are:
1-To believe that you are a child of God and also you are holy.
2- To believe in instant full forgiveness.
3- To believe in the good eternal life.
In this series we will gradually go through these principles but first, One should gradually go through the series of “ basic principles of the spiritual life “so that the practical steps here not to be hard.
This series is very important for youths and it guides parents how to deal with their children in this stage of life.
May Jesus Christ give power and holiness to his youth in the intercession of our mother saint Mary and with prayers of our father pope Tawadros. Glory is to our God in his church forever, Amen.
I was on my way to my spiritual father while my heart was full of longing to complete the practical steps to become free but I was very annoyed because of the traffic congestion this day.
I arrived, greeted my father then he said “let’s continue the second part in controlling our senses which is how to control touch sense, a very dangerous sense.”
I said: how, father?
Father said: this sense is very important but we didn’t focus on it before.
I said: yes, father, you have mentioned it very quickly when you said that the most dangerous two senses in this stage of life are sight and touch senses but you didn’t explain it in details.
Father said: Actually, it is a very important point in the fight against physical desires and fathers had focused a lot on it.
I said: please, continue father.
Father said: Jesus Christ Himself focused on it when He said:” If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.” (Mathew 18:8)
And as we mentioned before, it doesn’t mean literally to cut your foot or your hand but to cut the foot and the hand of evil.
Also, saints had focused on this sense in their writings.
St. John Climacus said “the touch sense is very enough to defile the body, because nothing is more dangerous than this sense “(ladder to the heaven- Assyrian monastery edition p.182)
Also St. Pachomius said “don’t hold your friend’s hand unnecessarily “(The paradise of the desert fathers)
Frankly we live in a world filled with extreme crowds in transportation and many crowded places and the war of this sense is strong and dangerous nowadays.
I said: you have a right, father, but what is the solution for this problem?
Father said: be faithful over a few things, and God will make you ruler over many things.
I said: how?
Father said: from the things that you can escape, escape, don’t be a betrayer nor to justify the sin but anytime you find yourself facing the war, escape, don’t wait for your leg to get trapped, escape very fast, don’t name the sin other names but when you feel that devil will fight you from this direction, run immediately ,escape from any person.
Because “ a man’s enemies will be those of his own household “(Mathew 10:36) and Satan may fight you with a close person or someone you respect or love ( this is one of many reasons of Homosexuality which we will discuss later)
Escape from any place you know that Satan will fight you in (as possible as you can) and when God sees your faithfulness in the few things will give you much grace to keep you safe.
If you couldn’t escape, call God deeply inside your heart, as Joseph did and you will find God bring you great power and save you.
“But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it “( 1 Corinthians 10:13)
If you did the sin , repent quickly and don’t justify any sin whether it was by your will or not , repent and believe in acceptance of God , confess your sin to God quickly as the more you expose the devil ( before God and ask for his help) , the less war is upon you.
I said: How can I know that this touch is impure or not? Not to be obsessive.
Father said: no need for obsession at all, it is written in the Bible “For what man knows the things of man except the spirit of the man which is in him? (1 Corinthians 2: 11), so you will know, my son.
Causes of flesh warfare:
First: failure to control desire of the body.
Second : impure touch.
(saint Isaac the Syrian, the paradise of the desert fathers
But there are some signs:
First sign: when you feel that you are full of bodily desires, at this time you should realize that the touch sense needs to be controlled especially when you have evil thoughts and evil fictions.
Second sign: when you have evil longings to be present in these places or with those people, by time it may become an addiction.
So, when you find all of this, my son, don’t give up but strive in praying and ask from God to set you free.
“I have set before your life and death, blessing and cursing , therefore choose life , that both you and your descendants may live”( Deuteronomy 30:19)
And you can live by continuous asking from God to save you.
“Escape for your life “(Genesis 19:17)
Third sign: when you have an emotional tendency towards a certain person.
So go back a step and take care of the little foxes (touches) before they become fierce lions (adultery or homosexuality).
The signs of danger of touch sense:
1-increase in the war of lusts.
2-longings to be present in the places of offenses.
3-emotional tendency to a certain person.
I said: It is very dangerous sense; I didn’t perceive its seriousness to this extent and no one told me about it frankly or in details.
Father said: Actually, this is the truth, son. We find some boys and girls trying to justify some games to hold the hands of each other in the name of brotherhood but actually this is a legal way for the touches which will be used by Satan to fight them.
So justifying wrong actions make them in trouble and then they say “Satan humiliates us, desires tear us apart, where is our God?
And the problem is not in devil’s power or absence of God, but the problem is in our complacency and justifying of the little foxes.
So, we should face ourselves bravely and pour out all our pains before God because He only can save us and set us free.
From the most important signs is when you feel conviction of the Holy Spirit, tell God about it and say to Him:
“God, I am your son, I am very weak, tell me please if this matter is evil or almost evil. Please God set me free from any evil desires or lusts, lest I perish.
But even if against my will lead me in your way and keep me away from any evil and any defilement, and also don’t leave Satan to deceive me as I am very weak and I have no one except you to protect and defend me.”
Another thing about touch sense: saint Antonious said “ Don’t let your hand touches your body without controlling, lest you do the sin involuntary “( the paradise of the desert fathers p. 198) and this is the second subject in the sense of touch.
I said: I cannot understand, father.
Father said: If one touches his sexual organs, he without realizing makes his body arouse and causes trouble to himself, and also this is the opinion of the psychologists, so man should be conscious to this matter not to be in trouble without realizing.
I said: A very new fact, father but very dangerous.
I have a question “is this advice for monks only? So that we didn’t hear about it.
Father said: this advice is for whoever gets tempted by physical desires, and also Jesus’s sayings were not for monks only but for all, and Bible says “remember therefore from where you have fallen, repent” (Revelation 2:5)
So, knowing the cause is the first step in treatment, and as you see, son this sense is very important and very dangerous.
I said: Frankly father, your words today are very serious about touch sense and this is the first time for me to hear them, but is there anything concerning other senses?
Father said: yes son, I want to tell you about the biological watch.
I said: what is meant by biological watch, father?
Father said: There is a natural watch inside the human brain, it regulates sleeping and waking up, regulates things that you used to do repeatedly every day.
If you adjust this watch son, to do useful and fixed things in your life, you will accomplish a lot in overcoming physical desires.
I said: new advice, father I want more details, please.
Father said: The secret of the power of the monks in prayer is adjusting the biological watch on fixed prayer times, you find them after some time wake up to pray by midnight without effort.
The secret of the success of the scientists and businessmen in their business is the recurring daily schedule for their business which makes them achieve it without much effort.
Also, the secret of the athletes’ success in their tiring exercises is their daily routine which will be by time a habit.
I said: How can I adjust this watch to be like all of these?
Father said: first of all, you should regulate your sleeping hours, fix your bedtime and wake up time.
Then you should regulate the time and the quantity of food and drink by fixing the time and the quantity of food you eat, after that regulate praying and reading the Holy Bible by fixing the time and the parts you read , if you did that, son, you will accomplish a lot in controlling the physical desires.
I asked while amazed: How do these things relate to physical desires?
Father answered: first, they strengthen the will, they make your will very strong.
Try to do them and you will discover that you will be very weak against devil in those days in which your sleep and eating time is disturbed.
Second, when you regulate quantity of food and hours of sleep (according to the need of your body, nothing more and nothing less), you will have rest from carnal warfare.
Third, when you set a fixed spiritual routine for yourself ( for prayers and reading the Bible) , you will grow in spiritual life and in grace day by day without knowing.
I said: very useful talk, but how can I adjust my biological watch correctly?
Advantages of adjusting the biological watch:
- It strengthens the will.
- It regulates bodily needs.
- It helps in spiritual growing.
Father said: profit David supplicated to the Lord saying :
“ Teach me , O Lord , the way of your statutes , And I shall keep it to the end “(psalm 119:33)
So God knows your spiritual and physical needs and also He knows your abilities at this time , He loves you even more than you love yourself.
Because of that start by praying everyday for five minutes for one week and ask from God to regulate your sleep, food, drink and also your prayers.Pray five minutes everyday for one week for this subject, I think it is very important subject.
I said: of course, father it is very important ,it is worthy to pray for a daily routine to continue for all my life, But I have a fear that this daily routine will become very boring and without spirit nor depth.
Father said: we have mentioned all of that to control the physical desires by strengthening your will and to orient your energies in the right direction, but for the spiritual routine ,no fear of becoming boring routine except (as we mentioned before) when you feel satisfaction.
As if your target becomes the routine itself, you will be sensual person with no spirit.
If you think that this routine is the price you pay God to make you pure, you are delusional.
These things you do are just a legal way to have the God’s free gifts.
“ The watching monk is the enemy of adultery while the monk who sleeps a lot is his friend”
Saint John climax ( the ladder p. 224)
Once , announced in the press about a free scholarship for doctors in Germany to make a master’s degree in orthopedics ( this scholarship will cost Germany 500,000 euros) and it is provided to all doctors without conditions, many went and filled out the application form and were already accepted , but someone did not want to fill out the form saying “ as long as it is free , so I will be accepted “ , and he did not fill out the application, so will he take this scholarship?
I answered ( smiling) : of course not, as he did not fill out the application form.
Father asked: For who were accepted in this scholarship, does the price of the application form or does the effort they did equalize the cost of this scholarship?
I answered: of course not.
Father asked: and if anyone did not apply in the place designated for it or at the time specified for that, will he be accepted?
I answered: No, he must abide by the legal conditions.
Father said: All what we have just mentioned are steps in the way to accept God’s free gifts or to know how to go forward in the legal way to accept God’s free gifts as the Holy Bible teaches us , also as the fathers lived and experienced , and as the human nature teaches us.
Father said: summary to what we have mentioned:
Three practical disciplines to be free from bad habits ( perception- controlling the senses- energy control)
- I cannot alone.
- God can.
- It takes time.
Controlling the senses:
- Biological watch.
But before we talk about energy control, I will tell you three concepts will help you to be holy and pure, they were mentioned in the Holy Bible.
I said: What are these , father?
Father said: first , Trust that you are a child of God and also that you are holy.
“ For you are the temple of the living God . As God has said: “ I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God , And they shall be my people” therefore come out from among them and be separate , says the Lord. Don’t touch what is unclean , And I will receive you. I will be a father to you , And you shall be my sons and daughters , says the Lord Almighty.”(2 Corinthians 6:16-18)
Therefore , having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
So your trust in being child of God and He is your father dwelling in you , this helps you to be holy and to set you free from any habit or sin that humiliate you.
And also if you fall , it will be just an injury in your fight against satan. If you believe that you are child of God and you are holy, you will be truly holy and you will behave as a saint.(4)
Frankly, without this trust, there will be no hope in becoming free and you will live as a slave to defilement in all its shapes and also your struggles will be with no gain.
I said: I can accept that I am a child of God but holy is a bit strange.
Father said ( with sadness): this is a sad thing , my son, which is also destroys the people of Christ.
I asked: what is it , father?
Father answered: that we confined the concept of holiness to those who perform miracles and who cast demons out, while these are gifts that God has given to certain people ( they have no credit for them) to serve the others ( body of Christ) and also he can perish who has these gifts.
I said: perish!! Someone has these gifts, can he perish?!!
Father said: yes, Jesus Himself said that, son, “Many will say to Me in that day , Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name , cast out demons in your name, and done many wonders in your name ?, And then I will declare to them ,” I never knew you , depart from Me , you who practice lawlessness “(Mathew 7:22-23)
(4)” According to your faith let it be to you”(Mathew 9:29)
“ For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”(proverbs 23:7)
I said: how can this even happen?
Father said: when someone had these gifts and traded them for a profit or for the sake of fame, it’s very far from the concept of holiness.
I said: so what is the concept of holiness? Everyday I discover something new about Christianity!!
Father said: holy means dedicated. We say church is holy which means dedicated for prayers and we can’t play football in it. Altar utensils are holy which means dedicated for the body and the blood of Christ and we can’t eat in them.
You also are holy which means that you are dedicated for the in dwelling of the Holy Spirit and not for the in dwelling of demons.(5)
So you may be an abode of Christ which means to be holy ( because when Christ dwells in someone , He must make him holy).
Or you may not be holy which means you are defiled and you are an abode of demons.
I said: No, of course , I don’t want to be an abode of demons , I want to be holy and to be an abode of Christ.
(5) “ Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the spirit of God dwells in you?”(1Corinthians 3:16)
Father said: you know , you are holy because of in dwelling of Christ inside you and not because of your good deeds , Also the word child of God is more comprehensive and deeper than the word holy.
I said: How?
Father said: Are you child of God ?
I said: yes, father, He had adopted me so I am His child and also I am praying and saying “ our father “
Father said: ok. A great father, what will be his child?
I said: Great like him.
Father asked: a rich father, what will be his child?
I answered: rich, of course.
Father asked: A holy father. What will be his child?
I answered: Holy, oh I got it , father.
Father said: The word child of God is more comprehensive than the word holy because it means that you are holy , great and all attributes of God are for you to accept them and to grow through them as it’s written “ partakers of the divine nature”(2Peter 1:4) and also “ Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son , then an heir of God through Christ” ( Galatians 4:7)
I said: these words mean that all Christians are holy !!
Father said: whoever accepts that God is his father , he should believe that he is a partaker of all attributes of God and one of these attributes is holiness. Lest he will live unhappy and weak in front of impurity and evil of the world.
So we accept and believe that we are holy then we can behave as holy ones and not the opposite.
I said: How?
Father said: we should believe the word of God that we are children of God, so we are holy then we live as saints while the opposite is impossible.
It is impossible to be a saint or to be a child of God when I do all the deeds of saints. This thought is against Christ and against the work of Christ, because Christ had come to give us the blessing of sonship after we were slaves, to give us the grace of holiness after we had been corrupted, and if we can strive to have sonship or holiness , there was no gain from the incarnation of Christ, His Death and Resurrection.
This thought is against the Bible and against Christ and also makes us non- Christians, makes us strive a lot but with no gain, so we will remain defiled in the sight of ourselves and after sometime , we hate the spiritual way, hate this cruel God who doesn’t feel us or even feel self righteousness that we are not so bad and we are more righteous than others.
Imagine someone lives in a village, then he bought stethoscope, sphygmomanometer and some syringes, then he started to say “ I will strive and I will do and wear like a doctor” will he be a doctor?
I said: impossible.
Father said: But after he finishes the high school with very high grades then accepted in medical school , studying seven years , graduated and becomes a doctor , then when someone is sick , he can treat him and when someone asks him “ what are you doing?” , he can answer in confidence “ I am a doctor.” And he will be honest by this time.
So I should accept that I am holy ( God has sanctified me and dwells in me by the Holy Spirit and this is not a merit from me but it’s God’s favor) by that only I can live as a saint and do the deeds of saints , while the opposite is impossible.
If I tried to do holy deeds to be holy , it will be impossible, all my struggling will be void and also if I thought to be holy by this way it will be with no gain.
Satan will encourage you saying “ strive more , you the sinner to be holy “ but no way.
Because God adopted us , so we are children of God and then we can behave as children of God and not the opposite ( no works I can do to be child of God) the same as we are children of the Holy God , so we are holy and so we can behave as saints (6) and not the opposite ( no works I can do to be holy).
It’s written “ Then I will give them one heart , and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my judgments and do them, and they shall be my people , and I will be their God .(Ezekiel 11:19-20)
(6) “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”(proverbs 23:7)
So that I may obey the commandments of the Lord , I should believe that God had given me a new spirit and He had sanctified me by His dwelling inside me( in Myron sacrament) not I still have an unclean spirit which makes me impure.
Also it’s written “ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ , and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts”( Romans 13:14)
So that you may not make provision for the flesh and its lusts, you should put on the Lord Jesus Christ, it means that you should be holy at first and if Christ is not dwelling in you so satan will do and will defile you as we have mentioned.
I said: Is it possible to be holy while my deeds are impure?
Father said: only in three cases:
- In case of ignorance and unbelieving.
As when I am ignorant of what I have obtained from God ( that I am child and so holy), I will live as a slave to the sin and the defilement.
“ My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge “( Hosea 4:6)
There was a poor man in a village , he had a relative in U.S.A and he was rich man but he had no children so he wrote a will with all his money ( 10 million Dollars) to this poor relative . They sent this will to the poor man in Egypt and they told him to go to the bank to withdraw the money at any time. When he received the will , he was very happy and proud saying that “ my grandfather was rich and had left me a lot of money “ but inside himself, he didn’t believe.
I said: what was the reason of his unbelieving ?
Father said: because there were some evil people around him, they wanted to humiliate him by making him borrow money from them, while if he realized that he is rich, he will not be a slave for them.
Also there were some relatives for him , they were saying to him” Don’t forget , we are poor , don’t believe that you are rich, this is delusion “
And he believed all these lies from the evil people and also his relatives and he didn’t withdraw any cent, he lived as a poor man in miserable life, borrowing money from evil people who humiliate him while he was always saying proudly “ my grandfather was great and I have a will from him by millions of Dollars “
What can people think of him?
I said: they will despise him and they will not believe him.
Father said: this is the same as all Christians nowadays, son , who are always saying we are the children of the king , children of God, while they don’t believe that , don’t behave like children of God, no holiness , no righteousness, nor peace .
So we became despised in the world as when Jesus said “ you are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned ? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. “( Mathew 5:13)
I said: what is the second case in which I am holy but my works are impure?
Father said: the second case is hypocrisy. Like the Pharisees who were holy only in the sight of people but inside themselves they were full of every evil.
Jesus said about those people “ You are those who justify yourselves before men , but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God”( Luke 16:15)
Those who live with hypocrisy and cause offenses for many , they are the most of Ecclesiastics and servants who wear the external holiness clothes and inside themselves, they know that this is only external show and the holiness is very far from them, then they start to despise the others falling in something called “ psychological projection”.
I said: what is the “ psychological projection “ ?
Father said: In other words, they drop their sufferings on those around them, telling people that holiness is impossible and that most people are sinners and impure.
Jesus said “ Woe to you lawyers ! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter in yourselves, and those who were entering in you hindered” ( Luke 11: 52)
Also He said “ Woe to you also, lawyers! For you load men with burdens hard to bear , and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers.”(Luke 11: 46)
They tell youth that the way is difficult or impossible and that holiness is for special people ( like them, of course) while other people are defiled , and also they tell youth that the true repentance is that you should not do sin anymore ( which is impossible not only for youth but also for them).
They participate with devil to do ZAR to destroy the youth, children of Christ.
I said: what do you mean by ZAR , father?
Father said: ZAR means that satan and some small devils come ( they can use the voices of bad friends and wrong teachings) all together to one boy or girl and they start to repeat some words to him/ her inside their mind saying “ you are a sinner …….you are a sinner “, they repeat this sentence again and again “ you are a sinner ………you are a sinner “.
Then the poor boy or girl by time starts to say like them “ I am a sinner……..I am a sinner “, after that he/ she starts to believe that he / she is a sinner and they start to do sin which will become a habit.
When satan convinces someone that he is a sinner , he will behave as a sinner.
But God is calling you “ you are my child”,” you are holy” , “ you are a hero”, so will you believe God or satan? Will you believe that you are holy or a sinner?
I said: but I fall in sin and impurity.
Father said: whatever.
If the sinner falls in the sin, he will be satisfied because he behaves like his nature.
If the holy one falls in the sin, he will repent immediately because this is against his nature which is holiness.
It’s written “ now , therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God”( Ephesians 2:19)
These are the words of The Bible or these are my words!!!
So when we trust that we are children of God and fellow citizens with the saints and we are not strangers, this makes us behave with holiness like them.If we did sin, we can’t live as a sinners but we will repent quickly.
If there is a boy who was wearing beautiful clothes while going to Sunday school, then a car came alongside him quickly making the sewage that fills the street flew on his clothes. What do you think , he can do ?
I said: sure, it will be very uncomfortable to him, he may also cry and returns home quickly to change his clothes.
Father said: yes, indeed he used to be very clean . But if this boy is one of the street boys, what do you think he will do?
I said: he will not care about it but he may also play with this sewage water.
Father said: so devil tries to convince you that you are from the street boys, you are a sinner and this is your nature, if you believed these lies, by time you will live in sin and you will be satisfied with it.
But God words to you are” you are holy, you are my child, my beloved , my image, and you are like me. I redeemed you with my blood . If you fall, just come back to me, I am your father who loves you, even if you fall million times a day, you will still be my image, you will remain my child, my responsibility is to protect and help you.”
So will you believe the words of God who loves you or the words of devil who wants to humiliate and destroy you!!!
I said (very sadly) : oh , my father …….oh, my father. That means that anyone who tries to convince me that I am a sinner and not holy is working with devil to make me live in sin and impurity and he wants to destroy me.
Oh…….we had lived in ignorance and darkness.
Why didn’t we hear about these teachings long time ago, father? That we are children of the Holy Father and so we are also holy so we will strive hardly to behave like saints which is very joyful teaching. We have got sick from the teachings of devil that have destroyed us , have made us not only hate ourselves but also hate God who doesn’t care about us and command us to do impossible commandments. While on the contrary, God is good, cares about us very much and we are holy in His sight.
But I have a question, If we fall in the sin, will we lose the holy nature?
Father said: The prodigal son had fallen by his will, he took his inheritance while his father was alive then he had lived impure life with adulterers, in spite of that he remained a son and he was never called the prodigal slave . Yes, he was prodigal but also he is a son and the day he returned to his father , he returned as a son . So when you fall, you will remain a child of God and holy in His sight and the sin will be a disease or an injury caused by devil, when you return back to your father “ the Great Doctor” , He will heal you and embrace you.
I said: And if I didn’t return back?
Father said: These are the third case who are saints but they don’t behave as saints , who don’t repent when they fall and this is because of being stubborn or desperate.
Saints don’t behave as saints:
- Ignorance and unbelieving.
- Stubbornness or despair.
I said : So how these people can be saved?
Father said: we have mentioned this in part 1, no for despair nor for justification.
He who tasted the goodness of the Christ and who have filled with grace, he will trample the pods of devil and defilement. who believed that he is holy, will not despair or justify a situation he knows very well that it will humiliate and destroy him.
So we need to renew our mind to be transformed , as it’s written in the Holy Bible “ but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”( Romans 12:2)
So when you renew your mind, the behavior will be changed automatically. If we believed that we are children of the Holy God, we will behave as saints and if we believed that we are sinners, we will behave as sinners living in the sin. Who will not repent and return back, will live his life away from God.
As long as we are in this body, we can return back at any time but there will come a time when it is said “ the door was closed”. Everyone has to choose by his will the place in which he will remain forever.
I said: May God keeps us in His Love and His Holiness.
But what is the second concept which helps us to be holy, father?
Father said: the second concept is to “ believe in the instant and complete forgiveness “
I asked: what does it mean, father?
Father answered: we have discussed this many times before but we can confirm it because this is the message of Christ, message of forgiveness.
Without the acceptance of God’s forgiveness, man remains away from God , even he will not be a Christian ( as we discussed in part 6 “ peace of forgiveness “)and also when we don’t believe in God’s forgiveness for us, we will live in sin and get used to it while when we return back quickly and sanctify ourselves with Jesus blood, we will get used to purity and holiness , so we can’t stand sin.
But devil is pernicious telling you “ as you have sinned , enjoy sin until the month end then you can repent once for all” and by time , you will forget the meaning of repentance, purity and holiness . Then you will coexist with sin as a nature and you will live pure only in the day of taking The Holy Communion or confession day, then after one or two days you will return to the old nature, you will return the son of devil again.
I said: yes, father, I do so, but what is the correct deed?
Father said: you are accepted from God throughout the life and everyday you are a son, you are a son all the time not only after taking The Holy Communion ( one day a week) or when you confess ( one day a month).
Any day you fall in this habit , then you repent saying “ I have sinned” you will return to your nature again , pure and holy. So don’t delay repentance not even one second as it’s said by st.Theophan the Recluse “ don’t let the sin stay in your heart even for one minute without confessing ( to God) and don’t neglect clearing your heart by sincere repentance before God also, even if you fall again, do the same thing again.
Every time you do the sin , purify yourself before the Lord ( every minute)…….so my beloved , don’t delay the internal purity doings not even for a second but immediately when you realize your sins, arise and repent.(7)
Also our church teached us to pray before sleeping everyday saying “ Lord , all our sins which we committed against you in this day , whether in deeds or in words or in thoughts or through all senses, please remit and forgive us.” Are these words with no effect? And if God doesn’t accept me , so why do I pray?
I said: I can believe that God accepts me but to believe that He forgives all my sins and I am pure and holy, this is hard.
Father said: No way that God accepts you and He can leave you in the filthiness of the sin, no way that the father accepts his prodigal son, then he can leave him in his clothes with the smell of the swine rather he will bring him the best robe, the ring and the sandals……so acceptance of God means full forgiveness to be totally pure and holy.
I said: If I said “ I have sinned” , will He accept and forgive me at the same moment?
Father said: If you said it from all your heart, you don’t intend to sin again, you regret your fall and you want to live with God, He must accept you because this is His promise “ and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.”(John 6:37)
I want to ask you a question, “ Is God just or not?
(7) spiritual ware fare part 2 page 87 ,89
I said: of course, He is just.
Father said: And is the sin near or far from us?
I said: very near, we can sin every minute.
Father said: As long as God is just and the sin is very near from us, the forgiveness should be very near as well. And if person is defiled in the sight of God, he can live with Him, talk to Him, stay between His arms, pray, ask, take and even God dwells in him!!!!
I said: certainly not.
Father said: Distrust in forgiveness makes the person neither believe that he is accepted nor his prayers are accepted and also he cannot enjoy the love, fatherhood and God’s bosom nor dwelling of God, so he doesn’t pray and if he prayed , it will be only from his lips, then he starts to despise himself , despise his prayers and doesn’t wait for answer from God. And so he is separated from God and then he becomes a toy in the hands of devil to destroy him.
I said: This is mass destruction. I didn’t realize the seriousness of distrust in the instant forgiveness.
Father said: not only the instant forgiveness but it should be also complete forgiveness.
I said: what do you mean, father?
Father said: I mean that when you fall in masturbation then you repent and return back to Christ , He will forgive you all your sins “ all means all” not some nor most because one sin can separate us from God.
St.Onsimos The Jerusalemite said “ The prophet asked from God to remit all his sins because if one sin remained without remission, it will prevent us from entering the kingdom of God”(8)
It’s written in The Holy Bible “ and the blood of Jesus Christ His son cleanses us from all sin.”(1John 1:7)
And also “ yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.”( Colossians 1:22)
Also” And may the Lord make you increase…….so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father.” ( 1 Thessalonians 3:13)
About the one sin “ For whoever shall keep the whole law , and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.”(James 2:10)
So it’s a must to believe that God will accept you and forgive every sin for you when you confess saying “I have sinned “(childhood and young adulthood) to become pure and holy before God in the precious blood of Jesus Christ, and then you will imagine yourself while angels are putting a beautiful white robe on you called robe of righteousness.
Without all of that you will never live with God nor have holiness.
(8) The Divine love for father Tadros yaacob p.301
An important advice before going through the third concept which is:
As long as you are in this life , you are on a long road on its sides there are some demons, everyone of them holds some dirty things, sewage, rotten egg and moldy tomatoes ( different kinds of sins) trying to throw it towards you. So be watchful and use all your abilities and your weapons which are prayer, The Holy Bible and the means of grace.
Also if you got dirty, don’t delay to go to your commander to clean you, heal you and strengthen you.
Also don’t expect this war to stop until the last moment of your life, devil only will change the sin he uses to fight you from time to time and don’t forget that God knows our weaknesses and He doesn’t expect from us to stop falling in sins as He said:” For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.”(Proverbs 24:16)
So don’t give up when you fall, return back, repent and renew your strength until you obtain the crown.
I said: wonderful words, father, that motivate us to strive against devil and make us trust that God is not against us but with us and also when I fall, He will not abandon me but He will encourage and strengthen me.
Father said: The third concept which helps you to live holy is: good eternity hope
There is a very important verse about hope, son, if we understand it , our mind will be renewed so much and we will have hope to be holy and pure.
I said (with concern): what is this verse, father?
Father said: It is written in (1 John 3:2),” Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He (Jesus Christ) is.And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
I said: I don’t fully understand it, father.
Father said: it means that in the good eternity we will see Him(Jesus Christ) and we will be like Him, holy. And who has this hope in Him, this hope will make him strive to keep himself pure and holy likewise The Lord Jesus Christ, holy as He is Holy.
While he who lost this hope in the good eternity, for what will he strive? He hasn’t any target to strive for. Whatever he did, he will not have the good eternity , he will go to hell, so he think that he suppose to enjoy sin by all means as apostle Paul said “ If the dead do not rise, Let us eat and drink , for tomorrow we die !!!”(1 Corinthians 15:32)
I said: and if they will rise and will go to hell , they suppose to live in the sin and enjoy it before going to the hell !!!
At this point , I exploded in severe tears for wasting days in ignorance and for a lot of friends still very disappointed because of wrong thoughts and said “ oh, father, wrong teachings had spoiled our mind and had made our youth lost.”
Father said: what if a father hits his son to study then he says to him” you are a loser, you will fail, you are stupid and no way to succeed.”
I said: The son will not study, will hate studying, school and will hate his father also.
Father said: This is why many young people hate spiritual life feeling that it’s very hard, and it is not experiencing love with a father, a friend and a lover. Spiritual life in their sight is restrictions and rituals from a powerful bossy difficult God which are impossible to obey and at the end the hell is waiting. So how can these young people strive? With no target, because the end is well known( the hell).
But God our good Father said “ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.”(Luke 17:21)
And from now you can have the guarantee of the inheritance (The Holy Spirit) ( Ephesians 1:14)
Also Jesus has become a surety of a better covenant. ( Hebrews 7:22)
“ And the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.”( John 6:37)
“And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”( John 10:28)
“ Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called.”( 1 Timothy 6:12)
While devil is always trying to make the good eternal life impossible and the hell is guaranteed and that because of a little mistake your destiny is hell, good eternity is only for saints and you are impure .
Who believes these lies will live as a sinner and will surrender to sin.
I said: what makes us believe these lies easily, father, to live in humiliation and bondage of the sin?
Father said: The most important reason is the distrust in instant forgiveness, then you get used to be separated from God for a long period ( a year, a month, or even a day), and during this period of time you will be afraid of death because from your point of view at this time you become rejected from God and you are a sinner so the eternal torment will be your destiny, so you live everyday in fear and terror then you give up and lose hope.
I said: so what is the solution?
Father said: believing in instant full forgiveness, and also that he who dies while fighting against sin, will have an eternal crown, he is not a betrayer ( as we mentioned in parts 1 & 8 of the series principles of spiritual life).
I will leave you now but remember that we have discussed today the touch sense and the three concepts that help us to be free
- You are a child of God and you are holy.
- Believe in instant full forgiveness.
- To have the hope of the good eternity.